I am no longer waiting for summer

orange signals the start of a new beginning

feet feel different here on this floor

not like they did

there are no bad memories when I walk the hall

or lay in my bed

only the sounds of sighs from tiny voices

making me smile

bright and unabashed, not hidden

the sun through the windows seems so much brighter

I didn’t realize how you blocked it out before

I did realize other things

like how you made everything so thin

so tasteless

how you made me so thin so tasteless

how you erased me from being

until my lines were gone and I had to be redrawn

I see that you knew nothing at all

nothing of love

even the chuckles that seeped from your throat had no joy behind them

even they were thin

how quickly you faded into something distant

how the distance between one door and another separates the past from the present

these are the things I think about now

this.

and how much I love the sun through the windows

and the sound of light in my ear